Literary/Verbal Dichotomy.

 Observing the stark contrast between my literary compositions and my verbal vernacular, I see a vast chasm between scholarly eloquence and gross etymological abuses...My writing reads as if it should be inspected in specticals and spoken in Old English...contrarily my actual grammar is mostly pigeon/ebonics in a southern accent with an over-use of the word "Fuck" and various conjugations of it...I think I may be Bi-polar. 

Suppressed Memories

 Sometimes suppressed memories resurface when a behavioral pattern is recognized...Hindsight is 20/20...Only when pattern recognition kicks in do we recall red flags subliminally ignored in order to cope with the reality of the moment...Memories flood like a torrent...words, tones, body language and how they affected our emotions, it all comes to life in HD...It takes a moment of clarity to open this pandoras box of suppressed memories...a straw to break the camels back...When we realize we have been abused the depths of the abuse begin to unravel...Processing this information is vital to heal...Remembering things that we have forgotten for the sake of coping allows us to admit to ourselves that we have been victimized... Healing requires us to acknowledge our wounds...awareness is the first step in the path to healing...Often we are ashamed of our wounds to the point where we not only hide the scars from others but also ourselves...Taking personal responsibility for the ways that we may have been complicit in the abusive situation is imperative in order to move forward.

The Un-natural Nature of a Narcissist.

 A Narcissist is someone with a strong desire to Possess and Dominate their environment and people in their lives...they feel the compulsion to command and to be obeyed...every thing they do is motivated by the desire to control and manipulate...they do not know what it is to be innocent...they always have an ulterior motive...People who always have hidden agendas become so adept at disguising their ulterior motives that they can to a certain extent convince even themselves that their behavior is ethical, their judgment is Righteous and their reason is sound... Their ultruism is an illusion, a thin veneer for their greed...Their compassion is really a desire to possess,, control, subdue...they prey on the innocent in their war against innocence...Innocence is the one thing that they can never possess...The Accuser projects their own guilt and shame on the innocent...casting judgment on the Righteous the guilty absolve themselves of their sins, assuming the illusion if innocence...

People who don't know how to mind their own business are always suspicious of people who mind their own business... people who don't know what it's like to not have ulterior motives always project their ulterior motives onto people who have no ulterior motives... people who have no idea what it's like to be innocent project their guilt onto innocent people... people who don't know innocence don't know guilt either... they don't think in terms of right and wrong but assetts and acquisitions... their only motive is Domination. Whether they are inflicting pain or pleasure, using seduction or subjugation, manipulation or intimidation, their only motivation is Domination. 

if they cannot rule by fraud...if they cannot 

Possess and Dominate thru seduction, psychological manipulation, and deception they will appeal to authority, recruit flying monkeys, or resort to brute force...if they cannot Possess you they will try to destroy you... 

Most of them are beyond rehabilitation...No need try reason with an unreasonable person...They will not respect your perspective or boundaries...Best not to engage with them at all...or give them any energy, negative or positive... They will find another victim eventually and that is not your problem...

Even thinking about them is toxic...your body will become tense and breath restricted just by the thought of them...listen to your body and think about something else...Notice how your breath and posture change...there is nothing to be gained by ruminating on the situation once you have become aware that you are dealing with a vampire...

Recognize patterns of behavior in your relationships that make you feel uncomfortable... People are creatures of habit and mostly predictable...observe how they treat others and don't fool yourself into thinking that you are special enough not to be treated the same...

A Narcissist will try your will power... Commands are their native tongue... Draw boundaries immediately... Don't let them dictate your behavior... They feel the need to be obeyed by their peers because they feel superior...they will break your will and confidence if you allow them to... make no agreements...Don't let them shame you or insult your intelligence or command your attention...

The main objective of a Narcissist is to break you...your will, your self-esteem, your hopes and dreams, they would smash it all against a wall...they will assault your character, insult your intelligence, and question your sanity...any energy you give to them will be used against you...Your words will be spun...Deliberately Misinterpreted... They will not only control the conversation but also the Narrative, no matter whose story it is...They will purposely mis-quote you in order to control how other people perceive you... subtley changing nuances of meaning...everything you say will be construed and used against you... even if you didn't say it...they have to control the narrative...no matter whose story it is...

The Narcissist is the Accuser, the Deciever, the Destroyer... in a word, Satan. " Get thee behind me Satan." - Jesus Christ... Stay far enough ahead of them where they can't stab you in the back. 

Intellectual dishonesty

 People of the book have not only renounced their faculties of reason and negated their capacities for logic but they have sacrificed basic human empathy on the alter of their faith...their hearts have been surrendered and their minds have been subdued by an arbitrary authority...you simply cannot reason with unreasonable people... A difference of perception is perceived as an attack... you are either for or against...right or wrong...Either/Or... all of these false dualities, dichotomies and delusions form an impenetrable wall with bricks baked with presuppositions and presuppositions...pointing out the contradictions of their conclusions and the inconsistencies of their convictions is futile... Any evidence against their baseless assumptions is promptly dismissed with prejudice prior to investigation... they are invested in the narrative that they imagine or have been persuaded to believe... at the end of the day, most people believe what they want... the truth is insubstantial to the majority... they like to believe what makes them feel good about themselves. And they are entitled to their beliefs and convictions, their opinions,delusions and even their prejudices...they can have them all...they have every right to hold them as far as I'm concerned just as long as they mind their own fukn business.

People that are intellectually dishonest enough to avoid the cognitive dissonance that would be predicated by the objective examination of their faith are likely to be dishonest about anything.

"The Devil's Lettuce"

 If you were God, and you created all these plants to feed and medicate your children...and they instead turned to witch-doctors to concoct some concoction to ease their aches and pains and such... what would you think of these ungrateful peasants if they started calling one of your precious flowers "The Devils lettuce"? Like God made all these plants but this one here this one is evil...Who are you to pass judgment on a plant that grows out of "God's" green earth? The Devil is the Destroyer but he got to create one plant somehow? "The Devils Lettuce"... if you were God, how would you feel about some self-righteous, hairless monkey ascribing the creation of a magical plant that you created to your arch-enemy? 

 

Wary-Eyed Stranger

 I'm just a wary eyed stranger an interloper at best...everywhere that I go I don't fit in with the rest...I'm just a little bit strange in some type of way I suppose...

I walked on

 I might be lost but it ain't because I don't know Jesus...in fact I saw him on the sidewalk just the other day...with a sharpie on a piece of cardboard writing something about Judgement Day...and I waked on...I walked on down the road...the devil round the corner stuck a knife between my ribs...still it hurts like hell and I'm still wondering what I did...refrain...crossed my path with Buddah sitting underneath the lotus tree...I stopped and asked him kindly mister tell me what you need...he said nothing at all...possessions make you fall...refrain...almost ran into Krishna, suckling a goat and eating beans...he said Hare Hare Hare, I said I don't know what that means...refrain... and then I come to Yaway he said ya I'm the way...I said excuse me sir but you are standing in my way...I don't have any blood for you I know you love it so...be ye filled by your own blood my friend I really have to go...refrain