Purpose of Belief.

 The belief that your purpose in life is dictated by a higher authority and not an innate function of your being opens the door for ambiguity beyond the strata of imagination.

Literary/Verbal Dichotomy.

 Observing the stark contrast between my literary compositions and my verbal vernacular, I see a vast chasm between scholarly eloquence and gross etymological abuses...My writing reads as if it should be inspected in specticals and spoken in Old English...contrarily my actual grammar is mostly pigeon/ebonics in a southern accent with an over-use of the word "Fuck" and various conjugations of it...I think I may be Bi-polar. 

Suppressed Memories

 Sometimes suppressed memories resurface when a behavioral pattern is recognized...Hindsight is 20/20...Only when pattern recognition kicks in do we recall red flags subliminally ignored in order to cope with the reality of the moment...Memories flood like a torrent...words, tones, body language and how they affected our emotions, it all comes to life in HD...It takes a moment of clarity to open this pandoras box of suppressed memories...a straw to break the camels back...When we realize we have been abused the depths of the abuse begin to unravel...Processing this information is vital to heal...Remembering things that we have forgotten for the sake of coping allows us to admit to ourselves that we have been victimized... Healing requires us to acknowledge our wounds...awareness is the first step in the path to healing...Often we are ashamed of our wounds to the point where we not only hide the scars from others but also ourselves...Taking personal responsibility for the ways that we may have been complicit in the abusive situation is imperative in order to move forward.

The Un-natural Nature of a Narcissist.

 A Narcissist is someone with a strong desire to Possess and Dominate their environment and people in their lives...they feel the compulsion to command and to be obeyed...every thing they do is motivated by the desire to control and manipulate...they do not know what it is to be innocent...they always have an ulterior motive...People who always have hidden agendas become so adept at disguising their ulterior motives that they can to a certain extent convince even themselves that their behavior is ethical, their judgment is Righteous and their reason is sound... Their ultruism is an illusion, a thin veneer for their greed...Their compassion is really a desire to possess,, control, subdue...they prey on the innocent in their war against innocence...Innocence is the one thing that they can never possess...The Accuser projects their own guilt and shame on the innocent...casting judgment on the Righteous the guilty absolve themselves of their sins, assuming the illusion if innocence...

People who don't know how to mind their own business are always suspicious of people who mind their own business... people who don't know what it's like to not have ulterior motives always project their ulterior motives onto people who have no ulterior motives... people who have no idea what it's like to be innocent project their guilt onto innocent people... people who don't know innocence don't know guilt either... they don't think in terms of right and wrong but assetts and acquisitions... their only motive is Domination. Whether they are inflicting pain or pleasure, using seduction or subjugation, manipulation or intimidation, their only motivation is Domination. 

if they cannot rule by fraud...if they cannot 

Possess and Dominate thru seduction, psychological manipulation, and deception they will appeal to authority, recruit flying monkeys, or resort to brute force...if they cannot Possess you they will try to destroy you... 

Most of them are beyond rehabilitation...No need try reason with an unreasonable person...They will not respect your perspective or boundaries...Best not to engage with them at all...or give them any energy, negative or positive... They will find another victim eventually and that is not your problem...

Even thinking about them is toxic...your body will become tense and breath restricted just by the thought of them...listen to your body and think about something else...Notice how your breath and posture change...there is nothing to be gained by ruminating on the situation once you have become aware that you are dealing with a vampire...

Recognize patterns of behavior in your relationships that make you feel uncomfortable... People are creatures of habit and mostly predictable...observe how they treat others and don't fool yourself into thinking that you are special enough not to be treated the same...

A Narcissist will try your will power... Commands are their native tongue... Draw boundaries immediately... Don't let them dictate your behavior... They feel the need to be obeyed by their peers because they feel superior...they will break your will and confidence if you allow them to... make no agreements...Don't let them shame you or insult your intelligence or command your attention...

The main objective of a Narcissist is to break you...your will, your self-esteem, your hopes and dreams, they would smash it all against a wall...they will assault your character, insult your intelligence, and question your sanity...any energy you give to them will be used against you...Your words will be spun...Deliberately Misinterpreted... They will not only control the conversation but also the Narrative, no matter whose story it is...They will purposely mis-quote you in order to control how other people perceive you... subtley changing nuances of meaning...everything you say will be construed and used against you... even if you didn't say it...they have to control the narrative...no matter whose story it is...

The Narcissist is the Accuser, the Deciever, the Destroyer... in a word, Satan. " Get thee behind me Satan." - Jesus Christ... Stay far enough ahead of them where they can't stab you in the back. 

Intellectual dishonesty

 People of the book have not only renounced their faculties of reason and negated their capacities for logic but they have sacrificed basic human empathy on the alter of their faith...their hearts have been surrendered and their minds have been subdued by an arbitrary authority...you simply cannot reason with unreasonable people... A difference of perception is perceived as an attack... you are either for or against...right or wrong...Either/Or... all of these false dualities, dichotomies and delusions form an impenetrable wall with bricks baked with presuppositions and presuppositions...pointing out the contradictions of their conclusions and the inconsistencies of their convictions is futile... Any evidence against their baseless assumptions is promptly dismissed with prejudice prior to investigation... they are invested in the narrative that they imagine or have been persuaded to believe... at the end of the day, most people believe what they want... the truth is insubstantial to the majority... they like to believe what makes them feel good about themselves. And they are entitled to their beliefs and convictions, their opinions,delusions and even their prejudices...they can have them all...they have every right to hold them as far as I'm concerned just as long as they mind their own fukn business.

People that are intellectually dishonest enough to avoid the cognitive dissonance that would be predicated by the objective examination of their faith are likely to be dishonest about anything.

"The Devil's Lettuce"

 If you were God, and you created all these plants to feed and medicate your children...and they instead turned to witch-doctors to concoct some concoction to ease their aches and pains and such... what would you think of these ungrateful peasants if they started calling one of your precious flowers "The Devils lettuce"? Like God made all these plants but this one here this one is evil...Who are you to pass judgment on a plant that grows out of "God's" green earth? The Devil is the Destroyer but he got to create one plant somehow? "The Devils Lettuce"... if you were God, how would you feel about some self-righteous, hairless monkey ascribing the creation of a magical plant that you created to your arch-enemy? 

 

Wary-Eyed Stranger

 I'm just a wary eyed stranger an interloper at best...everywhere that I go I don't fit in with the rest...I'm just a little bit strange in some type of way I suppose...

I walked on

 I might be lost but it ain't because I don't know Jesus...in fact I saw him on the sidewalk just the other day...with a sharpie on a piece of cardboard writing something about Judgement Day...and I waked on...I walked on down the road...the devil round the corner stuck a knife between my ribs...still it hurts like hell and I'm still wondering what I did...refrain...crossed my path with Buddah sitting underneath the lotus tree...I stopped and asked him kindly mister tell me what you need...he said nothing at all...possessions make you fall...refrain...almost ran into Krishna, suckling a goat and eating beans...he said Hare Hare Hare, I said I don't know what that means...refrain... and then I come to Yaway he said ya I'm the way...I said excuse me sir but you are standing in my way...I don't have any blood for you I know you love it so...be ye filled by your own blood my friend I really have to go...refrain 

Hypocrite much?

 If you have a cabinet full of pharmaceutical drugs and judge people that smoke weed it is time to admit that it is not the creator of the earth that you worship but the arbitrary authority structure that rules over it. 

"Under God"

The concept of "countries" is a man-made construct...a devisive ideology that propagates destructive tendencies...To ascribe notions of divinity to Nations is the epitome of heresy... To attribute to "God" an entity ordained by the most bestial and sinful traits of humanity and built squarely on the foundation of genocide and slavery is the most heinous form of blasphemy and a mockery of everything that is sacred and holy. What are Nations but brothers fighting over their fathers land? What are borders but arbitrary lines drawn in the sand? 

Common Sense and Irony...

 "Welcome home my self-righteous and judgemental servant...well done." Is this how you expect to be greeted at the pearly gates by Jesus Christ? The guy that said judge not lest you be judged yourself...? Who is Satan but the Accuser of the Brethren? "Who are you to judge the servant of another master?" - The Apostate Paul... 

If Christians spent more of their time observing the teaching of their Christ rather than drinking his blood and eating his flesh maybe they would have more time to Love their neighbor and do unto others...instead of judging each other and condemning those who do not believe in their son sacrificing God.

It seems that in the church, the most self-righteous, judgemental and condescending people are venerated as Saints...the more manipulative a person is to proselytize their theology onto "unbelievers" the more they are regarded as holy... The more love of money a person has the more they are upheld as being blessed by the Lord and worthy of their wages... and like common sense, the irony is lost on the believer...

On "Possession"...

 You can possess a breath...for only a moment but no one owns the air...nothing is sacred but that which we share...

What came first? Egg or the chicken? The sun or the shine? The rhythm or ryme?The clock or the time? The nut or the tree? The earth or the sea? flower or seed? Bird or the bee? The supply or the need? 

Do you believe in Self-perpetuating energy?...seeking form and substance...existence is the manifestation of unbridled free will...The will to be...To breathe the air... to walk in this garden...to feel the sun... to drink water flowing from the ground on its way to the sea... 

There is an Order higher than your pre-conceived notions of Order... What you call chaos is a universe that you cannot comprehend... What you refer to as random is an equation beyond your understanding...There is an order higher than what you can conceive or fathom...

Systemically Psychotic System.

 The  system posses all the earmarks and exhibits all the symptoms of psychosis...a neurotic insistence on control and Domination of one's environment and peers without regard to consequences and with no respect for the freewill of either...

Gods of Old.

 The gods of old were mythological characters representing natural phenomenons...elements, planets, stars personified as deities...Symbols representing unfathomable realities...archetypes of dimensions of the Cosmos beyond our comprehension.

Cruzn.

 I got this load on my back...I can't hide, I can't hide...

Lost my sail and my tack...gotta roll with tide.

I don't know where I'm going but I gotta get outta here.

They're burning down the woods...locking down the town...if the levee breaks we are all gonna drown... Like the prophet said, A hard rains gonna fall...

Scapegoat Confession.

 I have trespassed against no one yet I stand condemmned...I have sinned against no man yet I am unforgiven...No one's blood is on my hands yet I am accused...To whom shall I confess to crimes I have not committed?

Introspective Speculations and Unsolicited Advice:

 You won't catch any fish if you keep eating all your bait.

Faith.

 Faith is praying to God's unknown...interceding for the land...praying in the ancient tongues of ancestors and hearing their blood cry out from the ground in Chorus pleading for Redemption.

Slash Pine Temple.

 Lash the slashed pines with the twisted vines of madness...Raise the tripod on which six pillars lean...cloak the temple with a sacred curtain sown of the skins of sacrifices rendered...flap facing to the east...rise and greet The Sun.

Frustration.

 Society's standards of social orientation interrupting natural cycles of copulation creates profound frustration beyond the scope of imagination as a large percentage of the population find themselves in the situation where they are forced to resort to masterbation.

Racism

 If you believe that your particular race is: a) Chosen by God to rule over the nations with an iron rod...b) The only race that is actually human...all other races are beasts created in human form by God so they can better serve...c) ...entitled to claim possession over land and resources and establish dominion over other races and species... You might be a racist...Here's your sign...

The Machine.

 The State is a machine...made by men...made of men...it cannot exist without the will of men...it cannot function without dictation from men...it cannot operate without cooperation of men...without continuous maintenance and fodder for fuel the machine will eventually break down and return to the dust.

The Empire strikes back again and again only as long as there are slaves and masters, Lord's and servants...The temple is always rebuilt from the ruins of the old as long as there are willing hands.

Deities and Dogmas...

 Deities and Dogmas are Divisive Delusions Devised by Demonic Dictators Dedicated to Domination...Divide and Conquor is the mantra of the tyrant. Superficial and illusory barriers are tools of the deceiver...the accuser... The judge that separates the sheep and the goats..."Your Father is the devil." -Jesus Christ....and then they killed him...

Broken...

 Broken teeth worn down to the quick...chains falling loose from wheels turning...Empires burning...Broken men...backs bowed low from their burden...stoop to pick up pennies fallen from the blind man's purse.

Arrogant Ignorance.

 Arrogance and Ignorance walk hand in hand... Ignorance by itself is easily forgiven...a man cannot be punished fairly for laws broken unaware...however, the Arrogance that fosters his Ignorance is the deadliest of the seven deadly sins...Repentance requires complete contrition...not only a change in patterns of behavior... but a radical reversal of soul and mind...There can be no forgiveness without repentance.

Meaning of life?

 What is the meaning of life? What is your favorite color? What if you are just a figment of someone else's imagination? A pigment of a hue...a shade unknown...Name it what you will.

Sun-Ray

 Stretched like a wire...a ray of the sun...my body the axis between the center of the Sun and the core of the earth...grounding the energy...extended beyond my limbs...that's when I found God.

Afterlife of a balloon.

 Where does your soul go after you die?

Where does the air go when you pop a balloon? 

What if your belief in an after-life is a coping mechanism to quell your fear of death?

What is this post-partum "you" that lives forever to suffer consequences of transgressions or reap the rewards of earned merit? 

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust but your conscious mind is immortal? 

What is this eternal soul you possess if not your deitized ego?

What is sacred cannot be possessed.

Do you have a soul or does The Soul have you?

Pro-Tip: On skinning cats

 While there is in fact more than one way to skin a cat...the best way depends on what to do with the hide.

Vegan Vampires.

 Vegans are mostly just vampires in disguise...thwarted natural instincts manifest themselves in subversive un-natural behaviors.

Muh Jeezus Blood...

 Don't tell me you love Jesus when you symbolically eat his flesh and drink his blood every Sunday... It's like saying how much you love cows between bites of a hamburger...let's be honest, what you really love is beef...you don't love the cow as a living entity but the taste of its mechanically masticated sacrificial flesh in your mouth...You don't really love Jesus...you love your own personal salvation and promise of eternal life...not the essence of who he was and the consciousness he shared, but his body brutally broken for your transgressions...Don't tell me you love Jesus when you ignore his words of wisdom while washing your sins in his blood...try follow his teachings rather than bathe in his body fluids...try emulate your mentor rather than cannibalize...Jesus was a prophet and a martyr...who are you to reduce him to a sacrificial lamb for a bloodthirsty God? Who is this God that requires the shedding of innocent blood for the remission of sins? What sin is greater than the shedding of innocent blood? What Father sacrifices his only son? What Lord accepts the shedding of innocent blood as a sacrifice to exonerate a guilty man? 

Eyes fixated on the graven image of an innocent man suffering for sins committed by your own hands...Praying for Salvation with trembling lips you sip the blood of the innocent from a cup outstretched by the hand of another man...

You rejoice in your atonement with ashes on your head...bowing to your knees you receive the master's bread...

How many bodies will be broken across the land, over the seas? How many will be slaughtered by your hand and your disease?You have never seen the forest cuz you're cutting all the trees...and if your brother doesn't bow down you cut him off at the knees...

I swear to God almighty...whatever God that you swear by...The precious blood of Jesus Christ has long ago run dry...There ain't enough holy water in the sea or from the sky that would wash away the stain of your bloody genocide...

You use his name in vain...You kill, steal, lie and spread disease and if your brother won't bow down you cut him off at the knees...

All I got is doubts and questions...I've run out of giva-damn...I've got my reservations bout Father God and Uncle Sam.